3 Tips On How To Dream Again As An Empty Nester
Many thoughts run through our minds each day. In fact, the latest study in 2020 by Nature.com says that we have 6.5 thoughts per minute with over 6000 thoughts per day.
As a mom or empty nester, how many of our thoughts are dreams of things WE would like to do some day?
Back to The Drawing Board
My daughters kept on their dating paths as young adults. I stopped getting attached to boyfriends. I stopped planning weddings and grandchildren. I realized I needed to start dreaming for myself again. I certainly didn’t realize at the time how one small amazing dream to teach kids again was going to spiral into a lot of tiny little dreams and a lot of learning new and wonderful things.
Now that weddings have been dreamt up by my daughters and grandchildren are arriving, I still continue to reignite adventure. I remain a certified ski instructor who absolutely enjoys every minute of teaching moms and children how to slide on snow. It all came about because I started DREAMING BACKWARD. I started listing out all the things I USED TO DO and WANTED TO DO AGAIN.
I knew it was going to look a little differently as an empty nester. I had to simply figure out how to dream again. All the things possible. So, my first STEPS FORWARD were all about DAY DREAMING.
It wasn’t easy to jump back into this kind of thinking after so many years of being a mom, care provider to others with errand lists a mile long. No lying about that!
Making room for QUIET TIME AWAY to think, creating LISTS OF THINGS I ENJOYED DOING, linking together IMAGES in my mind of what MY NEW DREAMS COULD BE.
This all took work.
Simple Steps to Help You Dream Again
There were many times when I had to remind myself that dreaming was actually fun. It wasn’t just work, creating lists, and making decisions. When you kick-off a new dream it can seem overwhelming. Like there’s a lot of changes and “to do” lists that start happening. Dreaming can easily turn into a job IF WE MAKE IT.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Dreaming is SUPPOSED TO BE FUN!
So, here’s a couple tips to get you headed in the direction of dreaming all the things again.
Tip #1: Go To Your Safe Space
It’s almost impossible to really day dream when your mind is distracted by other activity around you. It most certainly can not let down it’s guard when you’re physically not in a comfortable or safe place.
NOW is the best time to look around and find your safe place if you haven’t already.
Is there a cozy chair and happy lighting?
How long can you stay here before someone might interrupt your thoughts?
Do you need a place that’s isolated and private so that you can talk or cry out-loud to yourself?
Do you prefer an energetic space full of strangers that won’t interrupt you while you day dream in your journal?
Tip #2: Dress For The Occasion
My girlfriends, you are beautiful, dress for the occasion of going out to dream!
Wherever you are going, even if it’s just to your closet for some beginning steps of quiet pondering, dress in one of your favorite outfits. Put a little lip gloss on, slip into your sexiest pair of shoes, pull out your favorite bracelet.
This tip is going to be a little harder for all of us women to embrace so I did a little more research to help convince your brain.
This is important ladies. How you dress for the occasion of dreaming says how you are feeling about yourself and your future. It’s more than ok to give yourself PERMISSION TO FEEL GOOD and DREAM!
Tip #3: Cherish Your dreams As If They Are A Loved One
Dreams, even the act of dreaming can allude us. It’s not quite as tangible as other things going on in our life. No wonder we rate the importance of other things around us higher than we do of our own dreams.
But WHAT IF you were to write down THREE SIMPLE ASPIRATIONS and then CHERISH THEM AS if they were three of your children or closest LOVED ONES?
Sit in this thought for a moment.
How powerful of an idea is that and frankly, WHY NOT?!
My favorite way to check in on my dreams and aspirations is to ask these three questions from Psychology Today:
Does living this life feel good?
Does living this life feel authentic?
Does living this life feel like a big dream?
These can be scary questions. Sometimes when I pull these three questions out to ponder my next steps forward, I will pull out the tissue box too.
A Backwards Thought
Girlfriend, it’s WORTH IT! Cherishing your DREAMS like you would your own children WILL CONJURE UP TEARS AND LAUGHTER. That’s why we often avoid sitting down with ourselves and taking a look at our dreams, right?
BUT now we have ADMITTED IT OUT LOUD. We are prepared. Tissues are ready. Belly laughs to follow. These dream cherubs of ours ARE PRECIOUS. We got this!
After all, this is your future we’re talking about. These are YOUR DREAMS and YOUR PURPOSES.
So, let’s get started lovin’ on our dreams AND OURSELVES!
