5 Signs You Are Ready To Grow As An Empty Nester
During the spring we nurture our plants. During pregnancy and later motherhood, we love, feed, teach, and protect.
We water. They grow.
But who is watering us? How are we growing? Are we even ready to grow? What does growing as an adult woman, mom, empty nester feel like? What the heck does it even look like? What can I expect?
These are all common questions as you start to look forward. The next season slowly approaching you. Or maybe you are already in that season of empty nesting.
Here Are 5 Signs You Are Ready To Grow
You might be putting off listening to your gut instinct right now. Perhaps you’re distracted by the teenagers in your house, getting your college student packed up to ship off for another year. What your gut and brain are asking is, “What are we going to do next? (double exclamation mark here)”
This question is the ultimate sign that curiosity is building within your brain about your next adventure, that is all!
So, take some time to check in with yourself and THESE OTHER 5 SIGNS:
Sign #1: Sad all the time
Sometimes a few sad days in an empty house can quickly turn into five, then 10, then a month. If your brain doesn’t have a project, a passion, a purpose, then it will ruminate on the one thing it can’t stop thinking about; feelings of missing those kids that once filled the home with happy noise.
This empty nest syndrome has a way of sneaking up on all of us. Even the moms working outside of the home, seemingly already busy with their passions.
Sign #2: Can’t stop worrying about the child that flew the nest
Of course you can’t stop worrying! It’s been your job my sweet momma, for how many years now? And you’ve been amazing at it!
So why stop now?
Because we know that no amount of worry will change a thing that’s going on out there in the world.
New thoughts and actions will!
Plus, as an added bonus; when your worry goes down your good brain chemicals go up. NOW your brain is REALLY INTERESTED in figuring out it’s new purpose in life!
Sign #3: Bored beyond belief
Don’t baulk at this sign. YES, there are some of us moms out there that are actually looking forward to an empty house some day.
AND that’s A-OK!
Be prepared for boredom to be YOUR SIGN if you’re one of these mom’s. I know it sounds crazy that you might actually be bored. It CAN truly happen. You finally have to put up with yourself, with your boring husband (love him to death!), with the sweet boring dog, and the same old chores (by the way there are less chores because nobody is home to mess things up!). BORING!
It’s enough to drive you crazy! OR drive you to a new purpose.
Sign #4: Eating your emotions
Think? Why THINK about all that you’re missing in your familiar identity as a mom that’s getting ready to walk out that door to college when you can JUST EAT up all your thoughts instead?! One triple chocolate ice cream carton at a time.
Maybe this sign isn’t you but maybe it is. I’m not saying you should “go to the scale” to determine that. How about taking a look at this list of emotional hunger versus physical hunger though? It’s something I’ve found helpful in gauging my emotional eating and you might too. Emotional eating also gently reminds me that if I can spend the continuous energy to raise my hand to my mouth then I’m strong enough to get outside for a walk, dammit!
Sign #5: You stop looking FORWARD to socializing
This is where the rubber meets the road, ladies. Or should I say, the skis meet the snow.
When I am on snow coaching a new mom client on her skiing goals, I don’t have an “all or nothing” coaching mentality. Rather, I coach from a stand point of what her number one goal is, what she hopes to accomplish, experience, feel like. Then, WE WORK BACKWARDS from there.
I’ve been in this place that you are. So I know YOU HAVE VISUALIZED MORE for your future self, even though you can’t fathom interacting with others right now. You have had a glimmer of a picture of yourself, breaking free, getting out and about, socializing. That is because we are humans that were created to LOOK FORWARD towards other humans.
What is one thing you can do today that will help you slide in the direction towards another human being and socialize?
How Do I Grow When I Don’t Know What To Do Next?
“So now what, I still don’t know what the heck to do next?!”
One of my favorite seasoned, female celebrities is Joan Lunden. In this blog article she puts together with her staff, she lists out a few of the obvious ideas. Ideas of WHAT WE CAN DO NEXT when we don’t know what to do.
The biggest thing we can learn here is to “find” our next passion.
Instead of letting this statement flood you with the feelings of overwhelm, indulge yourself. That’s right. INDULGE!
Just like you might indulge in a couple cups of morning joe, scrolling through your Facebook feed. Why not indulge your brains curiosity about things like, “How to become a master gardener” or “Best ways to better my health”?
Let those creative thoughts flow. The skies the limit and Google is at your fingertips!
A Backward Thought
What if when you are parenting your child, playing a game with your grandchild, or teaching your niece to ride a bike, and you never praise them for their effort? Instead you only praise them for their outcome of perfect obedience, winning the game, successfully riding the bike. That’s crazy, right?!
Our children would never grow as a product of their efforts if we only praised them for the perfect ones. They probably wouldn’t even bother trying something new.
As moms and empty nesters, we already know the harmful effects of perfectionism. Instead, we reward and encourage a child’s efforts ESPECIALLY WHEN they’re not perfect.
But why then do we get it all backwards with ourselves? Why are we less patient with ourselves as moms and empty nesters who are learning something new? Because we sometimes let perfectionism get us all turned around backwards.
So, be kind to yourselves and celebrate ALL your efforts ladies! Look back up the hill at all the turns you made to get down it. There’s no perfect way to growing your dreams. The point is, you are growing them!
